The worst storm lies in the vacuum of uncertainty where muscles tense, heart quickens, and pulse races. Eternity spent in this space is wasted life. It is the vile prison of one’s own imagination, the true unnecessary crime that foreshadows real horror.
In my solitary existence I am often tested, and occasionally succumb to the wooing nature of what might be. In those precious moments, I forget what my feet feel like against the cool brown earth. I’m swept far away from home lost in yesterday’s river of shadows or a rainbow of tomorrow’s promises. In rare moments, I faintly smell the sickly scent as thought inverts intention. This is where you find me.
I had been sitting quietly on a rock in the middle of the universe. It was a perfect day to just be. The birds around me were satiated. The world was silent, except for the boisterous sound of my own thoughts.
It starts off cheerful enough. Oh, the innocent possibilities abound! Then it begins with the simple and plausible like ‘what if’ I get lost? The world tilts sideways as I wonder, ‘what if’ someone I care about gets hurt? Its axis is now twisted and the mind’s story on fire, building one new possibility after another, burning all that is in its wake. I’ve died many deaths contemplating these questions and others like them. In this warped world, I am ready to risk my imagined physical death for the solution to some imagined trouble. It is incessant, this noise. Reality blurred; it is madness.
I looked around me and wondered if the trees were aware of my thoughts. I let out a deep sigh.
Then a miracle happened. I finally breathed in, and reborn, I could see that I am in pleasant company. Life is joyful. The water burbles, the trees sway, and birds announce themselves as I pass by. Everything important is right where I am. The spirit of the universe is now.
Photo credit: Isaac Freeman